unclefather:

my mom said “what is a twink” really loudly at the table in the olive garden 

bikinipowerbottom:

"She’s really pretty for a black girl"

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“He’s really cool for a gay guy”

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“She’s doing really well for a woman”

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deathpup:

shrexything:

babyferaligator:

oomshi:

is masturbating while smoking weed called masturblazing 

no its called highjacking

guys no it’s weedwhacking

no its called dissapointing ur mother

donatellavevo:

current mood: oprah running on hot coals

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theodd1sout:

This will help you write good.

rninor:

weepingdildo:

landorus:

lets have phone sex over walkie talkies

"I’ll make you moan, over"

"bend over"
"bend what? over"

jaaaaaaawn:

methdragon:

be there or 

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That square is 5 bees by 6 bees I’ll have you know that is a bee rectangle you have failed

therorasaurus:

so my dad’s friend was bartending and saw a guy put something in a girl’s drink so while the guy turned around he switched their drinks and watched the guy roofie himself. 

zaynsperf:

the uncut version

hospitalstays:

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school cum